MINISTRY QUESTION: In an earlier posting we received the following question:
I am seeking some resources to help with a problem we are experiencing with our teens and the internet, specifically with things like Facebook and the like. It would seem some may have posted inappropriate images and commentary. Our elders are concerned that this may be part of a larger problem relating to the general coarseness of young people coming from the influence of school specifically and culture generally. We are looking for some resources or suggestions concerning a addressing the parents, children and the congregation generally. Gary Selby (Raleigh, North Carolina)
Here are the responses we have received so far:
Joe Chase, Missionary to Jamaica, Denton, Texas:
Vic Pruett, White House, Tennessee:
I found that Dr. David Fraze ( David.Fraze@rhchurch.org ) is a great resource on adolescents & culture. He is our best (C of C) person when it come to answering questions and giving advice on how to navigate things such as face book, my space, youtube, texting, and all things postmodern. Just don’t tell him I said that.
I actually have a face book account and it allows me to interact with young people in a very unique way. Teens are all about dialogue, for some reason they can share so much of themselves (their passion, faith, sin, fear, struggles, etc) on the internet (facebook, myspace) and yet be closed mouthed in Sunday morning Bible class. They will talk to me on facebook about very deep issues and yet be closed to the idea of talking to me at my office or at McDonald’s over a coke. I’m not saying this is a good thing, but it is an opportunity to reach our teens. We can take Jesus into this post modern marketplace (of face book, myspace, youtube) and find out what they are really up to (which is scary). Young people are open to this new form of dialogue, we should take advantage of it.
One more thing. I am always outing kids to their parents about improper behavior (I’m not breaking any confidentiality rules since they are talking about it publically on these internet postings). You don’t have to spend a lot of time on face book to do all of this (I spend no more than 5 min a day on that stuff).
Also I remind parents to check their children’s accounts, I do this from the pulpit every now and then. I don’t know if any of this was helpful, thanks for listening.
James Guy, University church, Monroe, Louisiana:
Like most things, the internet can be used for good or bad. Our youth group and college group both use Facebook as probably THE primary source of sharing information, inviting friends to events, communicating with one another (next to text messaging), etc. It has helped our kids be more “connected” (in modern terms) throughout the week when they probably wouldn’t see or speak to each other otherwise. The good thing about Facebook and Myspace is that friends can see what other friends have on there.
My wife and I both have Facebooks and are our kids friends, and we also require our kids to provide us with their logins and passwords, and we check them ever so often to see what is on there. We also see what some of their school friends have on there, and have had them remove 1 or 2 from their friends list because of things that were on their space. I think that is how it should be dealt with. Encourage parents to check up on their kids (that’s still legal in most states), and if you see one of your church kids with something on there that shouldn’t be, I would suggest dealing with it with them directly and with their parents as appropriate.
I would also add that the internet allows for more open viewing of the “general coarseness” of what your kids are probably doing and saying at school or with friends when you don’t hear and see them. In that respect it is a plus. The main thing I think is to be aware of what your kids (and perhaps church kids) have on their, and encourage and teach their parents to do the same. Facebook and Myspace are not that hard to use for that purpose even if you are not so computer literate. www.universitycc.net
Kent Jobe, College Avenue, El Dorado, Arkansas:
In regard to Mr. Selby's request, I would suggest www.syncswim.com This is a seminar presented by the Church and Family organization through Harding.
Although I have not personally participated in the seminar, it comes very highly recommended and I know they have put in a lot of time and effort in their presentation. I also know that they are really trying to keep their presentations current and relevant.
Brandon Tittle, Assistant Director, Church & Family, Harding University:
I was forwarded an email you sent with questions from various ministers. Our office, The Institute for Church & Family, has an experience that might help Gary Selby. It is called SyncSwim, and it is designed to help parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. understand youth culture and how to help teens "swim."
Feel free to send him my contact information: 501-279-4660
www.churchandfamily.net
